In a nutshell…
I’m a thirty-something mother of two, married since age eighteen, creative individual actively working on my own self-worth, anxiety and reaching my full potential. A fierce, funny, loud, loyal, versatile, resilient, altruistic serial business starter who tells it like it is.
We have all been conditioned to label everything about ourselves. Are you introverted or extroverted; anxious or brave; adversarial or friendly; self-conscious or sociable; shy or outgoing; positive or negative; straightforward or compliant?
When we make these definitive choices we limit ourselves unnecessarily.
By compartmentalising these traits I was forced to choose which aspects of myself were “good enough” consequently ignoring many fragments of my persona. I was riddled with anxiety, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. As far as I was concerned I could do nothing right.
But how could I expect to be the “best me” if I was devaluing and disregarding huge parts of myself?
Something had to change… I didn’t want anyone else to reach that level of self hatred. So I equipped myself with the knowledge and skills to help myself and others. I questioned EVERYTHING and learnt how to accept who we are in totality and embrace every facet of ourselves.
I already had a Degree in Psychology with a specialisation in Counselling. I then trained in NeuroLinguistic Programming, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and Somatic Psychotherapy. Additionally I did courses in Personal Development, Resilience and Life Coaching.
I have years (and years) of experience in many different fields and plenty of life experience – the good, the bad and the ugly.
I spent so long trying to find my place in the world – what many called aimless, unfocused and flaky – I now viewed as multi-passionate.
All my failures and self esteem issues I thought I had no control over, I was my own worst enemy – I had to give myself a break.
Let me help you embrace your whole self so you can live the life you were meant to live!
Keep going for the Nitty Gritty…
When I did “the good life checklist” myself I ended up with a great life on paper… married for sixteen plus years, two beautiful kids, nice house, nice car, a lot of great friends, a stay at home mom with the “freedom” to pursue my many entrepreneurial ventures… and then I felt worse than ever because I was not only unhappy with my seemingly awesome life, I also felt guilty that it wasn’t enough.
What was wrong with me?
Why was I so unhappy, unfulfilled,
ungrateful and angry?
Don’t get me wrong, I had tons of great things in my life that I loved, so many good memories, my “highlight reel” is incredible!
But underneath all of that I was a broken, insecure, anxious mess.
You wouldn’t know it if you spent some time with me – I’m all about putting your big girl panties on and making sure everyone is having a good time. Terrified that I would be the reason someone didn’t enjoy themselves.
I don’t let people down, I could be on my death bed and I would still show up for you. Need a favour? I’m your go-to girl!
The idea of saying no or disappointing anyone at anytime was completely unacceptable to me.
Except I was saying NO to myself every single day!
I battled with low self-esteem, a constant need to please everyone around me, and saw nothing of value in myself.
I compared myself to everyone else and could never measure up.
Anxiety ate me up and spat me out… I worried about everything I did or said, didn’t do or didn’t say.
I felt judged by everyone around me, and so I carried that weight with me everywhere.
I was exhausted, both emotionally and physically.
And reviewing my “professional life” did not help the situation AT ALL…
It feels like I left home eighteen years ago and went thirty different directions all only to end up just down the road from where I started.
I completed high school as I turned seventeen, met the man that would become my husband less than two years later…
I then bounced around from one idea / goal / dream to another for (what feels like) forever.
If you’re like me, which would make sense if you’re considering me as your coach, you’ll probably relate to that feeling of not knowing what you want to do “when you grow up” and not because you have no direction but because you have too many! Labelled as “creatives” or “wanderers” (often said with a note of contention) we get frustrated by society’s pressure to conform, to find that elusive ONE PATH meant for us.I started studying for my degree...
I wandered off and decided to intern at an architect firm for a bit, my intern duties weren’t doing it for me – I spent most the time walking to the shop to buy snacks and sweets for the employees.
So three weeks in I asked my boss if I could open a “tuckshop” in the office where they could get all the snacks they wanted from my desk!
He said yes, I did it, and it was great for a few weeks until I realised architecture wasn’t for me.
During that time I also worked as an “Extra” in the movie industry, as a “Mystery Shopper” for a European company, and wrote the beginning, middle OR end of about twenty different novels, and intermittently been painting and doing various types of Art since the age of fourteen.
At some point I also worked in a few retail shops, a receptionist at a hairdresser – which turned into a hair model gig for a bit, and did sales for my husband’s construction / waterproofing company.
Sometime around then we had started...
Later that year we had our firstborn, a baby boy that was seemingly allergic to sleep, severe reflux and colic, and a husband that was very busy building his own company… I spent two years barely sleeping, writing when I could, part time receptionist, painting again, and then started my baking business. Baked various occasion cakes, and planned some events for about a year, stopped because I was losing my love for baking and cooking, and I was not going to sacrifice that for any business.
I did a few more of my psychology degree subjects, actually bought the domain “Keeping Your Sanity” (that was over ten years ago) with the intention of using it for something in the psychology field.
and… Oh look another squirrel!
This is an expression you will hear me say often, it pretty much sums us up, don’t ya think?
Next up was copywriting and editing...
Cue my first burnout, quarter life crisis, epic meltdown…
After I clawed my way back from the edge I got resumed my search for a “purpose.”
That’s when I started my Online Pet Food and Accessory business (the first of it’s kind back then). The “PawStore” sold everything you needed for your pet delivered to your door, we imported Pet Clothing from China, learnt a lot about customs and red-tape!
That’s probably when I started getting bored, and also shifted my goal from professional to personal when we started trying for a baby brother, I did five months of fertility drugs which started affecting my health very badly, and on our sixth and final attempt the little guy snuck in there… just in the nick of time!
So in a matter of months I had my second child, another reflux / colic / barely sleeping baby boy, my parents divorced after almost thirty years, and we moved to a bigger house.
I'm sure you're beyond bored by now (if you're still reading - thank you! Hopefully I'll be getting to know you better soon)...
- Graphic Design and Copywriting
- Completed my BA in Psychology with specialisation in Counselling!
- Imported and sold Swimwear and Accessories
- Hospitality Evaulator
- Did Web design (Bootstrap & WordPress), Content Management, Image Sourcing, etc.
- Started and Managed my own Blog – Lifestyle & Travel – Paid Travel Trips, Media Trips, Product Reviews, Event Reviews, published articles online and in some Magazines, etc.
- In between all of these I always found myself drawn back to Art – Painting, Drawing, Mixed Media, etc.
- Started an online store selling Art, Photographic Prints, Printable Graphics, Photo Props, etc.
- Designed and sold Unique Jewellery items, Gym Accessories, etc
- …and FINALLY started a consultant business within the construction industry sourcing and selling items (from big brand Power Tools to Insulation to Fixings) that companies would normally go get from Hardware Stores and Various Suppliers, right to their premises.
I was fully invested and enthusiastic about every single thing I did. I devoted huge amounts of time and effort starting and running these ventures. And I enjoyed many of them, for awhile, but none of them stuck.
That left me feeling worthless, aimless and useless.
All the while I helped people around me...
I became the go-to person for advice in many different fields and roles which required me to spend considerable amounts of time away from my “work” to focus on others… but I loved it!
I nurtured creativity in individuals, helped design many a logo, tagline, website, business concept, business structure, and coming up with names and ideas for their products and services.
On the personal side I was a safe haven for friends and acquaintances who felt safe and heard when they shared their feelings and problems with me. I mediated arguments and relationship issues, encouraged accountability on both sides of a disagreement, and navigated hurt feelings and obstinance.
Going back as far as my teenage years, I “parented” my much younger sibling when my parents couldn’t cope, which eventually led to me stepping in and forcing them to see that she needed help with substance abuse issues. I ended up mediating their various relationships (spouse to spouse, parent to child) for years, including the fall out from their divorce (while I navigated having just had a baby). In school I was nominated by my teachers as a “Peer Helper” and supported students through many difficult situations.
Not once in those twenty plus years did it occur to me that I had already found my so-called “Path”, maybe because I still needed to experience and learn countless skills and invaluable lessons that would make me a better Coach in the end.
It took the world all but coming to a grinding halt...
What followed was a terrifying introspection that forced me to evaluate, not only my life as it was, but who I was as a person. I had to look at myself – my actions; interactions; failures; relationships; values; shortcomings; choices; both past and present. It was painful but not difficult because I was already so good at devaluing, mistreating and chastising myself.
But then, for the first time, I also took a look at what I had done right…
What a foreign concept that was! To go from the daily self smear campaign to actually acknowledging (possibly even appreciating) my positive attributes.
It was harder than one would expect to break that defamatory habit. I had to consciously and repetitively remind myself to “build up” rather than “break down”.
My daily life was comprised of negativity, uncertainty, anxiety, stress… sound familiar?
Well, I’m here to help you realise your full potential and unlock the life you’re meant to be living.